31 Weeks!

Here we are... counting down the weeks and days instead of months looking forward to meeting our precious little boy!  Recently I find myself coming to the realization I'm having a boy and freaking out a little.  I know at first it won't be much different from Anna Rae, but it seems I know nothing about "boy" stuff and I feel so unprepared.  I gravitate to girly items in a store, want to watch all the girly movies and shows on tv, and am partial to girl clothes.  Although I know Johnathan will make sure his son is "all boy," I want to be a part of that too.  The "boy" stuff I like is NASCAR, football, basketball, fishing, and a big truck... and that's about it.  But, then I started to think... Anna Rae plays in the dirt, just like a boy would, and probably gets just as dirty and loves it.  

In an online Q&A regarding this same matter, I read answers from mothers with boys.  Of course most of their advice was geared towards how to not get peed on, but in all honesty I could care less about the pee.  I read one that calmed my fears... "When he gets big enough for his boy-ness to matter, you will already be so intimately familiar with him, the person, that the rest will come naturally. Just be open to falling in love with your baby and discovering who he is."  I need to remember that I bonded the same with Anna Rae, and it wasn't just because I was a girl too, but as she developed a personality we developed a relationship, and it seems so natural now.  I know it will be the same with Adam.  

I'm also getting a little nervous about just caring for a newborn again.  I know some moms who think it will be easier the second time around because they've done it before, and in some respects I do feel that way.  But you also forget so easily... the labor and birth, the long nights and little sleep, breastfeeding fears, bouts of non stop crying and spitting up... and then there is a new element... potentially waking up Anna Rae in the middle of the night with his crying, so now we are having to comfort two children.  Oh, and I can't forget we have TWO dogs now, which in the grand scheme of things don't make much of a difference, but it all seems very overwhelming.  I'm sure all moms go through this, and now that I've written all this down I am even more glad that we haven't started building our house yet!  Ha! 

So there it is Adam.  My fears may seem overwhelming, but the thought of having you in our lives is such an unbelievable joy and a gift and I can't wait!  This is what life, and family, is all about!